Sunday, January 31, 2010

Subject : Adults Math

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
____________ _________ _________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
____________ _________ ________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
____________ _________ ________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
____________ _________ ________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
____________ _________ _________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
____________ _________ _________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
____________ _________ ________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _______

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Meaning Of Love

Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the Meaning Of love. But even the great philosophers and scholars, with their Profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But What do little kids know about love? Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple But deep grasp of that four-letter word.

" Love is when you feel calmness when you put your head down to the earth admitting He is the only one who is the Greater"

"There are 2 kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way she says your name is different. You know that your name is safe in her mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mom makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared she won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised Because not only does she still love you, she loves you even more."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they've know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

"My mom loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mom gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when mom sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Sami Yusuf."

"If you want somebody to love you, then just be yourself. Some people try to act like somebody else, somebody the boy likes better.I think the boy isn't being very good if he does this to you and you Should just find a nicer boy."

"Love is when your kitten licks your face even after you left him alone all day"

"Love is when you're born and see your mom for the first time.

"My enemies taught me how to love."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

"You have to fall in love before you get married. Then when you're married, you just sit around and read books together."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"You never have to be lonely. There's always somebody to love,even if it's just a squirrel or a kitten."

"You can break love, but it won't die."

Lazar Flowers









Luka dan masa..

Ke manakah harus ku hembuskan kesedihan ini..

jika di angin lalu..

pasti akan kembali..

di manakah harus ku layarkan kelukaan ini..

jika bersama ombak pasti akan pulang ke pantai ..

sedih itu hidup..

luka itu kehidupan..

bersama ku adunkan menjadi sebati..

menjadi satu menahan dalam hati..

penawar, di manakah penawar..

masa itu penawar yang bererti..

kerana masa yang hanya memahami..

betapa jiwa perlu kekuatan sebesar mana..

betapa hati hendakkan ketabahan sejerih mana..

kerana masa akan memberi segalanya..

duhai masa, berdetiklah di sampingku..

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Tahukah anda mengapa umat Islam wajib melontar batu di Jamratul Ula, Wusta dan Aqabah?

Tahukah anda mengapa umat Islam wajib melontar batu di Jamratul Ula, Wusta dan Aqabah? Ini adalah kerana tiang tersebut merupakan sebuah "obelisk" hasil dari tiang yang menjadi simbol pemerintahan Firaun pada zaman dahulu. Dajjal dan tenteranya mengguna dan memanipulasi tenaga piramid (piramid pada hujung obelisk) dengan kaedah sains untuk tujuan yang jahat. Sebab itulah umat Islam wajib membaling batu di Jamratul sebagai tanda protes kepada manipulasi ini dan juga benci dengan iblis serta kejahatannya. Obelisk juga dikenali sebagai "cleopatra’s needle". Tidak ramai umat Islam yang memahami maksud simbolik kenapa perlunya membaling batu di Jamratul.

Semasa menunaikan Haji, umat Islam akan membaling batu sebanyak 7 kali dengan 7 biji batu dimulai dengan tertib di ketiga-tiga Jamratul bermula dari Jamratul Ula, Wusta dan Aqabah dengan niat:

Bismillah, Allahuakbar Rajman Lisyaitani wahizbih
(Dengan nama Allah, Tuhan Yang Maha Besar, aku melontar syaitan dan pengikut-pengikutnya)

Jamratul


"The obelisk symbolized the sun god Ra, or Re, and during the brief religious reformation of Akhenaten was said to be a petrified ray of the Aten, the sundisk. It was also thought that the god existed within the structure."

Obelisk diasaskan dari "Sun Pillar" seperti ini:


Bentuknya boleh digambarkan sebagai satu tiang yang bersegi empat dengan piramid kecil pada puncaknya. Obelisk pada zaman dahulu kala dibuat dari seketul batu yang diukir (monolith). Perkataan ‘obelisk’ berasal dari ketamadunan Greek. Obelisk yang berasal dari Egypt (semasa zaman Firaun) dan merupakan yang tertinggi sekali terletak di hadapan bangunan Basilica of St. John Lateran, Rome, Italy. Semasa zaman kegemilangan Constantinople, maharajanya iaitu Theodosius I bagi bahagian timur Turki, telah meletakkan sebuah obelisk di Hippodrome of Constantinople, Turki. Terdapat 28 lokasi yang terletaknya obelisk asal dari zaman Firaun iaitu di:

Egypt (8 buah):
Pharaoh Tuthmosis I, Karnak Temple, Luxor
Pharaoh Ramses II, Luxor Temple
Pharaoh Hatshepsut, Karnak Temple, Luxor
Pharaoh Senusret I, Heliopolis, Cairo
Pharaoh Ramses III, Luxor Museum
Pharaoh Ramses II, Gezira Island, Cairo, 20.4 m
Pharaoh Ramses II, Cairo International Airport, 16.97 m
Pharaoh Seti II, Karnak Temple, Luxor, 7 m

France (1 buah):
Pharaoh Ramses II, di Place de la Concorde, Paris

Israel (1 buah):
Caesarea obelisk

Italy (11 buah, termasuk sebuah yang terdapat di Vatican City):
8 di Rome
Piazza del Duomo, Catania (Sicily)
Boboli Gardens (Florence)
Urbino

Poland (1 buah):
Ramses II, Poznan Archaeological Museum, Poznan (pinjaman dari Ägyptisches Museum und Papyrussammlung, Berlin)

Turkey (1 buah):
Pharaoh Tuthmosis III, in Square of Horses, Istanbul

United Kingdom (4 buah):
Pharaoh Tuthmosis III, "Cleopatra’s Needle", di Victoria Embankment, London
Pharaoh Amenhotep II, in the Oriental Museum, University of Durham
Pharaoh Ptolemy IX, Philae Obelisk, at Kingston Lacy, near Wimborne Minster, Dorset
Pharaoh Nectanebo II, British Museum, London

United States (1 buah):
Pharaoh Tuthmosis III, "Cleopatra’s Needle", di Central Park, New York

Ketamadunan yang terlibat dalam penggunaan obelisk ini ialah:

1. Egypt
2. Assyria
3. Axumite/Ethiopian
4. Ancient Roman
5. Byzantine
6. Keralian
7. Pre-Columbian

London (kelihatan dua sphinx seolah2 sedang "guard" obelisk tersebut)


Central Park, New York


Alexandria, Egypt (dari zaman Firaun)


Paris, France


Buenos Aires, Argentina


Original obelisk dari zaman Firaun (terletak di Temple of Karnak)


Dublin, Ireland


Istanbul, Turkey


Rome, Italy (Penganut Kristian sendiri pun tidak tahu yang agama mereka telah di manipulasi oleh Iblis)


Washington Monument (menghadap White House)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Perbualan Suami Isteri

Semakin hari semakin sayang..

Suami : (Setelah balik lewat dari pejabat) "Selamat malam sayang, sekarang saya logged in."

Isteri : Abang ada beli tak barang yang saya pesan tadi?

Suami : Bad command or filename.

Isteri : Tapi kan ke saya dah call abang pagi tadi kat pejabat suruh abang beli!

Suami : Errorneous syntax. Abort?

Isteri : Ish. Abang nih, takkan itu pon tak ingat? Hahaa..... Abang kata tadi dalam telefon nak beli tv? Mana dia?

Suami : Variable not found...

Isteri : Abang nih memang tak bole harap la. Bak kad kredit abang. Biar saya pergi belikan dan shopping barang dapur sekali.

Suami : Sharing Violation. Access denied...

Isteri : Abang ni tak sayang saya ke? abang lebih sayang komputer abang tu dari saya. Saya tak tahan la kalau macam ni selalu.

Suami : Too many parameters.. .

Isteri : Saya menyesal pilih abang sebagai suami saya. Harapkan muka je hensem.

Suami : Data type mismatch.

Isteri : Abang nih memang betul-betul tak berguna la.

Suami : It's by Default.

Isteri : Macamana pula dengan gaji abang?

Suami : File in use ... Try later.

Isteri : Kalau begitu, apa peranan saya disisi abang sebagai seorang isteri?

Suami : Unknown Virus.

Sunday, January 10, 2010





Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Adakalanya ukhwah tak perlu diucapkan kerana ianya hadir di dalam hati yang ikhlas,jiwa pula merasainya maka terlahirlah akan ketenangan yang sangat bererti.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Muslim perlu waspada campuran plasma darah dalam makanan



KAJIAN Fakulti Sains dan Teknologi, Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia (Usim) ke atas 12 sampel isi daging ikan (surimi) digunakan dalam bebola ikan yang diambil daripada beberapa pasar raya di sekitar Putrajaya dan Nilai, Negeri Sembilan didapati mengandungi bahan tidak halal dalam produk berkenaan.

Kajian awal yang dilakukan itu mendapati bebola ikan berkenaan mengandungi plasma darah haiwan yang dicampurkan di dalam ramuan bebola ikan bagi menambahkan kualiti bebola ikan, selain mencantikkan produk itu supaya nampak lebih kenyal dan gebu.

Pensyarah Fakulti Sains dan Teknologi Usim, Prof Dr Salmah Yusof, ketika mendedahkan hasil kajian itu menyatakan plasma darah kaya dengan protein yang boleh membantu memberi ciri-ciri yang lebih baik serta kualiti kepada sesuatu produk makanan seperti kekenyalan, mudah dihiris dan berwarna putih.

Lazimnya, beliau berkata, semua bahan itu boleh diperoleh daripada plasma darah ternakan seperti ayam, lembu dan babi. Katanya, penggunaan plasma darah ternyata tidak dibenarkan di dalam Islam kerana ia adalah haram.

“Kajian yang dilakukan bulan lalu, mendapati bebola ikan itu positif daripada bahan tidak halal iaitu mengandungi plasma darah haiwan. Kita juga akan melakukan kajian secara menyeluruh sedikit masa lagi bagi mendapatkan maklumat lengkap mengenainya.

“Kita menggunakan `teknik enzime linked immuno sorbent assay` (Elisa), iaitu teknik yang lebih cepat dari segi dapatan kajian dan lebih menjimatkan masa,” katanya ketika ditemui pada seminar Minggu Pelancongan Islam dan Halal Antarabangsa, baru-baru ini.

Surimi dijadikan bahan kandungan asas bagi produk seperti sosej, bebola ikan, udang, ketam, mee, isi ketam tiruan produk makanan lain.

Justeru, tidak mustahil, hasil kajian menunjukkan untuk meningkatkan dan mengekalkan kestabilan kualiti surimi, protein plasma darah haiwan dicampur ke dalam surimi. Plasma adalah bahagian cecair yang tidak berwarna sebahagian daripada darah. Secara sederhana, ia diasingkan daripada darah melalui kaedah pengemparan. Selepas diasingkan, plasma ini dikeringkan dengan alat pengering sembur sehingga berbentuk serbuk.

Salmah berkata, ketika ini, pihaknya belum melaporkan hasil kajian berkenaan kepada Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (Jakim) dan Persatuan Pengguna Islam Malaysia mengenai produk itu daripada pasar raya di Putrajaya dan Nilai berkenaan didapati tidak halal atas alasan tertentu.

Bagaimanapun, bagi memenuhi tanggungjawab sebagai umat Islam, beliau melalui pembentangan kertas kerja atau ceramah yang dihadiri akan menyebarkan maklumat mengenai isu halal haram ke atas produk makanan.

Katanya, berdasarkan pemerhatiannya dan maklumat dan pengetahuan, seseorang boleh tahu dan mencurigai sesuatu makanan atau minuman yang dibeli itu halal atau sebaliknya.

Sebagai contoh, bentuk fizikal bebola ikan yang dilihat cantik, sempurna dan berkualiti pembuatannya seperti kenyal lazimnya mengandungi plasma darah haiwan.

“Oleh itu, orang ramai seharusnya prihatin apabila ingin membeli produk berasaskan produk isi daging seperti bebola ikan, ketam atau sosej kerana ia mungkin mengandungi bahan yang tidak halal. Kita perlu ada sifat ingin tahu dan sensitif mengenai perkara ini supaya tidak termakan bahan halal.

Malah, dalam hadis riwayat At-Tabarani juga menjelaskan setiap daging yang tumbuh daripada yang haram, maka api neraka lebih layak baginya,” katanya.

Salmah berkata, keraguan terhadap penggunaan plasma darah haiwan dalam makanan juga sudah banyak disebarkan di dalam jurnal oleh pakar saintis yang sering memberi penekanan mengenai kewujudan plasma darah haiwan ke dalam beberapa produk makanan.

Beliau menegaskan, tidak mustahil bahan sama digunakan dalam produk berkaitan di negara ini.

Justeru, Usim juga akan memperluaskan kajian ke atas produk berasaskan sosej, tahun depan.

Mengulas lanjut, Salmah berkata, kerjasama menyeluruh membabitkan pelbagai pihak bermula dari peringkat industri, pakar, pengkaji dan Jakim serta agensi berkaitan perlu dipergiatkan bagi menangani kesedaran mengenai isu halal termasuk produk makanan, kosmetik, minuman dan farmaseutikal.

p/s: em, tak tau lah apa nak jadi..kalau letak plasma manusia, maka jadilah semua manusia keturunan raja bersiong.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Brilliant Examples of Photo Manipulation Art











































The World's First Flying Hotel















"The Hotelicopter features 18 luxuriously-appointed rooms for adrenaline junkies seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience. Each soundproofed room is equipped with a queen-sized bed, fine linens, a mini-bar, coffee machine, wireless internet access, and all the luxurious appointments you'd expect from a flying five star hotel. Room service is available one hour after liftoff and prior to landing." The Hotelicopter is due to fly maiden journey this summer (June 26th) with an undisclosed price..."

Dimensions Length: 42 m (137 ft)
Height: 28m (91 ft)
Maximum Takeoff Weight: 105850 kg (232,870 lb)
Maximum speed: 255 km/h (137 kt) (158 miles/h)
Cruising speed: 237 km/h (127 kt) (147 miles/h)
Original Mi Range: 515 km (320 mi)
Our augmented Mi Range - 1,296 km (700 mi)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Maybe these look Dirty

I'm truly sorry to publish these photos but it is the height of joblessness and of course CREATIVITY..ihikhik

























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